I saw this on FaceBook this morning and wanted to share…

My 81-year old mother reminded me the other night that I used to call her once a week when I was at college–on Sunday evenings because that was when long-distance rates were the cheapest.

“Did it bother you that you couldn’t talk to me very much?” I asked her.

“It killed me, but money was tight, and I looked forward to Sunday night more than anything. I just wanted to hear your voice and know you were okay for another week,” she told me. “Sometimes it was easier because I didn’t know what you were up to so I didn’t worry as much, but most of the time, I just wanted to know you were happy and doing well.”

In today’s world, it feels unnatural to think we can only get in touch with someone once a week, but there is some truth to what my mom is saying. Just because we have a variety of ways to access our big kids doesn’t always mean we should use them.

That’s why when I walked into our home office and saw my husband facetiming with my daughter at college before they did their Fantasy Football draft, I got a little choked up. I sat behind them, just listening to them chat and laugh and share some funny stories. It felt good to know she was happy. It felt good to know she was okay.

My twin daughters are starting to get in the groove of college life. Classes are in full swing, their activities are meeting regularly, and their social lives are developing.

I talked to one of my daughters yesterday (Tuesday), and as she was getting off the phone with me, she casually said, “I’ll call you on Friday after I talk to the trainer.”

And, of course, I responded with: “Friday! That’s four days from now!”

Then I remembered that she is out there living her life, which is exactly what she is supposed to be doing. So I took a deep breath and bravely said, “Friday. That sounds great. I’ll talk to you then.”

I miss seeing my daughters’ faces each day, hearing their laughter, listening to their stories, and feeling their arms around me for a hug.

I’m grateful I get to stay connected to them in a variety of ways beyond one Sunday night phone call.

But I’m also trying to give them some space to grow and learn how to live life outside of my home. It may be more challenging for me than it is for them.

At this point, I’ll take whatever connection they are willing to give me. It might be a meme or a text asking for a password or a Facetime or even a Sunday night phone call.

Any opportunity I get to know they are okay is enough right now.

I’m still learning how to do this letting go thing.

This is truly loving hard.

Hugs.

Whitney Fleming Writes