We’re often our own harshest critics. That little voice in your head can be quick to point out flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. But here’s a question worth asking: would you ever talk to a friend the way you sometimes talk to yourself?

Imagine a close friend came to you and said, “I messed up today. I feel like I’m not good enough.” You wouldn’t respond with, “You’re right, you’re terrible at this.” Of course not. You’d remind them of their strengths, encourage them to keep going, and give them grace for being human.

So why not offer yourself the same kindness?

Talking to yourself as you would to a friend means replacing self-criticism with compassion. Instead of saying, “I can’t believe I failed again,” try, “I’m learning. This is part of the process.” Instead of thinking, “I’ll never be good at this,” remind yourself, “I’m still growing, and every step forward counts.”

The way we speak to ourselves matters. Words can either build us up or break us down, and since we spend more time with our own thoughts than anyone else, practicing gentle, encouraging self-talk can make a big difference.

Next time you catch that critical inner voice, pause and ask yourself: If my best friend said this to me, how would I respond? Then, give yourself that same answer.

You deserve the same kindness you so freely give to others.