There’s this classic exercise Tony Robbins shares that I think is a game-changer. Picture this: Tony has everyone in a room look around and find everything that’s white. Easy enough, right? You’re scanning chairs, maybe a clock, someone’s sneakers, or even a stray coffee cup. You focus on white, white, white. But then he throws a curveball. “Now,” he says, “close your eyes and tell me everything that’s red.”

And there you are, scratching your head. Red? What red? You realize that you didn’t notice a single red thing. All you could see was white, because that’s what you were told to look for. And just like that, Tony reveals the lesson: what you choose to focus on, consciously or not, becomes the main feature in your view of the world. So, what are you focused on?

It’s amazing—and maybe a little terrifying—how easily we can miss something right in front of us. Life’s a bit of a trickster like that. We’re so busy zeroing in on one thing that we forget about everything else. Just last week, I found myself stressing over work deadlines, focusing entirely on what wasn’t done. All I saw was the “white”—the pile of to-dos and ticking clock. But there were “red” moments, too—those little wins, an unexpected thank-you email from a client, my friend’s texts asking to meet up for coffee. But I didn’t see any of that because I was so laser-focused on the work.

This is where Tony’s story hit home for me. If I’m too busy focusing on my stresses and deadlines, all I’ll see is…more stress and deadlines. But the second I shift my focus and look for the “red” moments—those small, meaningful parts of my day—suddenly the picture changes.

It’s like that old saying, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” Our minds are tuned to filter in exactly what we choose to pay attention to, and everything else? It’s just background noise. If we’re obsessing over the negatives, well, guess what? That’s going to be our main reality. On the flip side, by choosing to notice positive things—moments of connection, small joys, the humor in little setbacks—we build a world where those things become more prominent.

Think about it: every day we’re faced with a million little details, all vying for our attention. We see news headlines, social media posts, that email we need to answer, the weather report, and on and on. We can’t possibly focus on everything, so our brain naturally filters things out. The catch is that it filters based on what we’re used to focusing on. So if you’re used to stressing over deadlines or finding flaws in every situation, that’s exactly what your mind will serve up, and you’ll miss out on the silver linings, the humor, or even that flash of inspiration.

And here’s the kicker—our focus doesn’t just affect our mood; it changes our behavior. Ever try to drive somewhere when you’re already late and in a huff? Every red light feels personal, every slow car seems to be in your way on purpose, and by the time you arrive, you’re wound up tight. But on a good day? That same red light might not even faze you. You might even tap your fingers to the radio and take a deep breath.

So here’s a little challenge for tomorrow (or even right now): try to look for the red instead of the white. Notice the things you normally would let slip by because they don’t fit your usual narrative. Maybe it’s the way the barista greeted you at the coffee shop or how your friend shared a funny story. Choose to notice, for once, all the things that are quietly going well in your life.

And if you’re feeling up to it, make a list of these “red” moments at the end of the day. I bet you’ll find there’s more there than you’d expect. It might be small stuff—a green light, an easy laugh, a quiet minute to yourself—but these little things add up. They’re the “red” in a world that so often feels filled with “white,” and they’re worth seeing, feeling, and maybe even celebrating.

So, the next time you catch yourself stuck in a rut or hyper-focused on what’s wrong, think about Tony’s exercise. Close your eyes, take a breath, and open them to look for the red. It might be just the shift you need to see a fuller, richer picture of life unfolding around you.